Higher Love
“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”
You’ve probably heard that phrase before. It’s a call to navigate the tension between recognizing what is wrong and still holding onto love for the person.
But there’s another layer here: love, when disordered, can lead us astray.
A trap we often fall into is either loving the wrong thing or loving the right thing in the wrong way. Virtue, at its heart, is about finding balance—learning to love the right things in the right way.
When you think about it, there’s really only one thing that is entirely unlovable: sin. Sin twists what is good and separates us from God, making it the one thing we should never love. But outside of sin, most things are, in some sense, “lovable.” The real question is how we love them.
Do we love them rightly? Do we love them according to God’s design and His hierarchy of goods?
For example, taking my kids to the park is a good thing. It’s quality time and joyful play—an expression of love for them. But if I prioritize that good over taking them to Sunday Mass, I’ve disordered my loves. I’ve chosen a lesser good at the expense of a greater one.
Living out virtue often comes down to this: recognizing the higher good and responding accordingly. It’s not about choosing one good thing over another forever. It’s about choosing them in the right order—in the right way—so they reflect God’s ultimate plan for us.
This balance is what love, rightly ordered, looks like. It allows us to embrace the fullness of life while keeping our hearts fixed on the highest good: God Himself.